The Gaming Den

Aharon wrote:

Aharon wrote: Soo... In one of those pairs, I got feelings not only for the girl, but also the guy (I didn't realize/know I was bisexual before). He isn't interested in pursuing anything sexual, but his roommate is. The roommate is cute, adorably good-natured and basically what I look for in partners. However, he would be my first male partner and I'm a bit afraid of going for it

So, I went for that, and we've been together for almost two years now. During that time, he stressed that his relationship style was polyamory/relationship amory, but in practice, we've had sexually open monogamy. However, he's now started dating someone he met on OKCupid, and I'm unsure how to react. I *prefer* the way things were in the last two years, but I am *okay* with "real" polyamory. However, I don't really desire other/more partners, but kind of feel I ought to also have other partners so that I don't rely exclusively on him for emotional support etc. - I don't want to be too needy.

Any thoughts?

Here is a brief comic that talks about 4 types of monogamy. The broader comic itself focuses on polyamory, but also discusses a broad range of relationship structures, gender, and sexual identity topics. YMMV

I disagree with Count that the rules have changed. The reality may have changed, but it doesn't sound like the rules themselves did. He never promised monogamy, even if that's what you were doing by default. How did you feel about other sexual flings during this time? What about the dating makes it feel different to you?

That said, just talk to your partner like an adult. Talk through your feelings about this and figure out where your needs aren't being met in the new situation and if there's anything either of you can, or is willing to, do to address that.

DSMatticus wrote:"you know, in hindsight, that was actually pretty nice. I kind of miss it."

That's how it starts, 100% of the time. Nothing more and nothing less. It's the most insidious and cataclysmic sensation in the entire world.

Like, kids, seriously, Say "Perhaps" to Drugs. But don't do the ones that you can actually function on, for fuck's sake. Drop acid, snort ketamine, drink a couple bottles of cough syrup, or crack yourself out on plugged ecstasy. Get good enough at taking the grit and recovering memories from K-holes to leave the house, maybe, but the moment you swallow something and say "oh my god this is great, this is a drug I could take on weekdays" you need to take thirty steps the fuck back and think very seriously about what you just considered.

Eikre wrote: ... but the moment you swallow something and say "oh my god this is great, this is a drug I could take on weekdays" you need to take thirty steps the fuck back and think very seriously about what you just considered.

I hear that. I was in the hospital like 10 years ago and they shot me up with Fentanyl. The first thing I realized was although I was aware I am in constant pain I had no idea of the degree. Then when it really hit me it was literally the first and only time I've ever felt happy. I could see myself taking the hell out of that every day.

EDIT: To make it clear, I haven't had it since. I don't need another crippling addition in my life.

So . . today is my birthday. I am now 34 years old.
And my best gift was a dream i had tonight.
My Girlfriend(as in friend who was a girl) killed herself a bit more than one year ago now.
And i dreamed she was there, we were living as neighbours just joking around.
It took me several minutes after waking up until i had come to terms with reality again . . . How fucked up is that? -.-

I really don't think that's fucked up at all. I've had dreams like that.

Happy Birthday!

Stahlseele wrote:So . . today is my birthday. I am now 34 years old.
And my best gift was a dream i had tonight.
My Girlfriend(as in friend who was a girl) killed herself a bit more than one year ago now.
And i dreamed she was there, we were living as neighbours just joking around.
It took me several minutes after waking up until i had come to terms with reality again . . . How fucked up is that? -.-

I had a similar situation, except in the dream I was joking around with my buddy, even though he was still dead. I guess he was a zombie or something. They're dreams, the ones to worry about are the ones where everyday stuff happens (go to work, do your job, go home).

Stahlseele wrote:I had to have all 4 wisdom teeth removed . .
I had 2 surgeries for that.
I ended up badly scratched and bruised, because the painkillers they gave me made my whole body kinda numbish . . that was the most pleasant dentistry experience i have ever had in my whole life . .
All the others were horribly, especially the one where my sedation for having a tooth pulled was swapped with that of my mother in the next room having a small hole filled <.<

Fun story about sedation dentistry. I needed it once for a root canal because they needed to be able to fit x-ray stuff in my mouth while they were doing it but my gag reflex wasn't having any of that so we opted for Halcion as a way of getting me loopy enough to not choke on the equipment.

So you're supposed to take two pills an hour before the appointment, and you're supposed to start feeling the stuff work about 30 minutes in. We arrive and I'm still completely alert and lucid so they give me 30 more minutes. Nothing, so they take a third pill and crush it up and I take that and then 30 minutes later I'm basically unconscious (only not really, I just can't remember the rest of the visit).

So I need to go back a couple months later for a separate issue that requires sedation for the same reason because the back of my throat is too damn ticklish apparently. So knowing I apparently have an incredibly high tolerance to this drug I take three pills at the outset and have my dad drive me over. Only now I'm having the same problem. Sitting there completely lucid and not at all out of it. So they get a fourth pill, crush it up and I take it. Another hour passes and I still don't feel anything and they're getting antsy because at this point we're running up against other appointments. So fifth pill crush it up and swallow it and finally I begin to feel something so they hurry me on to the chair and I don't really remember anything past that point.

What I do remember is the fact I slept for a literal 24 hours after that visit. from 4 pm that afternoon to 4 pm the following afternoon. In retrospect I probably very nearly died from an overdose, but at the time I'd trusted my dentist to know what a reasonable amount was to take.

Maj wrote:I really don't think that's fucked up at all. I've had dreams like that.

Happy Birthday! :)

Thank you anyway.

Iduno wrote:

Stahlseele wrote:So . . today is my birthday. I am now 34 years old.
And my best gift was a dream i had tonight.
My Girlfriend(as in friend who was a girl) killed herself a bit more than one year ago now.
And i dreamed she was there, we were living as neighbours just joking around.
It took me several minutes after waking up until i had come to terms with reality again . . . How fucked up is that? -.-

I had a similar situation, except in the dream I was joking around with my buddy, even though he was still dead. I guess he was a zombie or something. They're dreams, the ones to worry about are the ones where everyday stuff happens (go to work, do your job, go home).

Why are those the ones to worry about?
I don't usually remember my dreams, that's . . really more of a some times a year thing for me. Usually not even double digit times, sometimes not even a handfull.
But i do remember having had such a dream at one point as well . .

shinimasu wrote:

Stahlseele wrote:I had to have all 4 wisdom teeth removed . .
I had 2 surgeries for that.
I ended up badly scratched and bruised, because the painkillers they gave me made my whole body kinda numbish . . that was the most pleasant dentistry experience i have ever had in my whole life . .
All the others were horribly, especially the one where my sedation for having a tooth pulled was swapped with that of my mother in the next room having a small hole filled <.<

Fun story about sedation dentistry. I needed it once for a root canal because they needed to be able to fit x-ray stuff in my mouth while they were doing it but my gag reflex wasn't having any of that so we opted for Halcion as a way of getting me loopy enough to not choke on the equipment.

So you're supposed to take two pills an hour before the appointment, and you're supposed to start feeling the stuff work about 30 minutes in. We arrive and I'm still completely alert and lucid so they give me 30 more minutes. Nothing, so they take a third pill and crush it up and I take that and then 30 minutes later I'm basically unconscious (only not really, I just can't remember the rest of the visit).

So I need to go back a couple months later for a separate issue that requires sedation for the same reason because the back of my throat is too damn ticklish apparently. So knowing I apparently have an incredibly high tolerance to this drug I take three pills at the outset and have my dad drive me over. Only now I'm having the same problem. Sitting there completely lucid and not at all out of it. So they get a fourth pill, crush it up and I take it. Another hour passes and I still don't feel anything and they're getting antsy because at this point we're running up against other appointments. So fifth pill crush it up and swallow it and finally I begin to feel something so they hurry me on to the chair and I don't really remember anything past that point.

What I do remember is the fact I slept for a literal 24 hours after that visit. from 4 pm that afternoon to 4 pm the following afternoon. In retrospect I probably very nearly died from an overdose, but at the time I'd trusted my dentist to know what a reasonable amount was to take.

Ah, yes, Painkillers . . the one drug i could see myself getting thoroughly addicted to . . If only my body were not, for some reason or other, pretty much capable of going for years at a time without needing any medical attention aside from the odd pill against an upset tummy . .

Went to bed with an annoyingly sore and mildly swollen elbow. Woke up to notably swollen and slightly more sore. Google tells me it's olecranon bursitis, and unless it starts getting worse, I don't see a point in seeing a doctor for a prescription of "take ibuprofen and ice it every so often for a week"

How do you end up with an answer not cancer or some sort of other terminal organ failure?!

virgil wrote:Went to bed with an annoyingly sore and mildly swollen elbow. Woke up to notably swollen and slightly more sore. Google tells me it's olecranon bursitis, and unless it starts getting worse, I don't see a point in seeing a doctor for a prescription of "take ibuprofen and ice it every so often for a week"

Had that before, went down that road, ended up going in and getting antibiotics for it in the end.

It's annoying that every decent zone map for Dragon Age Inquisition is on Pinterest and locked behind a log-in page.

So a friend of mine has recently subscribed to Thomas Sowell. Now I've heard of this guy before and I've heard some of his arguments dismissed before. 'I' know he is full of shit but my friend is stuck on thinking he's an authority about blacks in America right now and since I couldn't ass pull a clear list of detractors for his particular brand of bullshit. Does anyone happen to know where I could get such a list that isn't Wikipedia (because along with counter arguments from me he is not accepting 'that' either)?

Why bother?

If it is worth it, you should start by explaining that blacks in America are not a cohesive whole. There are black 1st generation immigrants from Africa and there are blacks who trace their heritage to slavery. There are blacks living in every state and some of them have a clearer history of overt racism. Talking about blacks in America is still like talking about whites in America. There are aleays going to be counterexamples of people that don't fit the 'average' but it is still useful to compare them (ie, you can't use a black millionaire athlete to claim that blacks aren't struggling anymore than you could use Bill Gates to explain that whites have it made). At that point you could start taking a nuanced view of the types of challenges that blacks face in addition to the very real challenges poor whites face

MGuy wrote:So a friend of mine has recently subscribed to Thomas Sowell. Now I've heard of this guy before and I've heard some of his arguments dismissed before. 'I' know he is full of shit but my friend is stuck on thinking he's an authority about blacks in America right now and since I couldn't ass pull a clear list of detractors for his particular brand of bullshit. Does anyone happen to know where I could get such a list that isn't Wikipedia (because along with counter arguments from me he is not accepting 'that' either)?

Thomas Sowell has no meaningful scholarly work in any field, and just says the the same things Milton Friedman said, but does it while black, that's the only reason he exists as a person people know about. All of his arguments are wrong for the same reason Friedman's are wrong.

I understand why parental guides to movies exist, but they are such bullshit to the point of uselessness. They focus on all the wrong stuff - like saying shit a lot in a movie is more severe than the bloody deaths of three dozen people. Or rating the skimpy clothing of the women as mild without even looking at the greater context of objectification.

Kaelik wrote:

MGuy wrote:So a friend of mine has recently subscribed to Thomas Sowell. Now I've heard of this guy before and I've heard some of his arguments dismissed before. 'I' know he is full of shit but my friend is stuck on thinking he's an authority about blacks in America right now and since I couldn't ass pull a clear list of detractors for his particular brand of bullshit. Does anyone happen to know where I could get such a list that isn't Wikipedia (because along with counter arguments from me he is not accepting 'that' either)?

Thomas Sowell has no meaningful scholarly work in any field, and just says the the same things Milton Friedman said, but does it while black, that's the only reason he exists as a person people know about. All of his arguments are wrong for the same reason Friedman's are wrong.

Well an update to this, it turns out he's become a follower of one Mr. Jordan Peterson and we are no longer in communication with each other because I said he was nothing but a cult leader peddling 'nonanswers' to people's problems and he took great offense to that. He's becoming a proud libertarian.

Maj wrote:I understand why parental guides to movies exist, but they are such bullshit to the point of uselessness. They focus on all the wrong stuff - like saying shit a lot in a movie is more severe than the bloody deaths of three dozen people. Or rating the skimpy clothing of the women as mild without even looking at the greater context of objectification.

Just remember, a violent rape is PG-13, but a women enjoying consensual sex is an automatic X rating.

Is it a thing to constantly think you're poorer than you are? I lost my job last month. I have a much better thing coming up at the end of the month, but I'm stressing money now forgetting that I did in fact plan for this sort of thing and have a huge chunk of change. (Then again I never use my elixirs in Final Fantasy because what if the NEXT boss is even harder, maybe it's related to that).

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:Is it a thing to constantly think you're poorer than you are? I lost my job last month. I have a much better thing coming up at the end of the month, but I'm stressing money now forgetting that I did in fact plan for this sort of thing and have a huge chunk of change. (Then again I never use my elixirs in Final Fantasy because what if the NEXT boss is even harder, maybe it's related to that).

For a while after we started making enough money, I kept thinking that every outage - power, water, internet, etc - was because I hadn't paid the bill, even though I totally had, and despite the fact that the utilities are totally not allowed to cut you off without notification. It was always, "X isn't working. What did I do wrong?"

WOOT!!!! My boss finally said he regretted voting for Trump. Fuck yes.

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:Just remember, a violent rape is PG-13, but a women enjoying consensual sex is an automatic X rating.

Be accurate. Violent rapes are rarely depicted in the detail that would call for an X rating, and women enjoying consensual sex are easily PG-13 if the details are suggested rather than shown.

Maj wrote:WOOT!!!! My boss finally said he regretted voting for Trump. Fuck yes.

What was the razor straw that broke the idiot camel's back?

Prak wrote:

Maj wrote:WOOT!!!! My boss finally said he regretted voting for Trump. Fuck yes.

What was the razor straw that broke the idiot camel's back?

Apparently, the tax cuts. He doesn't talk about politics at all, but he said today that the tax cuts made him wish he hadn't voted for Trump.

I don't understand. He promised he'd make tax cuts. Why would he get mad that he went through with them? Was his cut not big enough? I mean kudos on him feeling regret. Most of what I can wrangle out of people is for them to be disillusioned with Trump (unwilling to defend his actions and spread 'most' of his personal propaganda) so that's something I'm just confused about him acting on a promise being the thing that turns a Trump supporter.

MGuy wrote:I don't understand. He promised he'd make tax cuts.

Trump also promised to raise taxes on the wealthy. He took multiple sides on several issues, which made it easier for people to project their idealization onto him.